


Sadalmelik

by kaibasetos



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 06:03:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13475229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaibasetos/pseuds/kaibasetos
Summary: You're the star I look for every night.





	Sadalmelik

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I didn't expect to be back again so soon, but, well... I love these two, so here I am. This fic serves as a celebration of a few things! First and foremost, though this isn't a fic _about_ Jounouchi's birthday, it's still a fic I finished _for_ Jounouchi's birthday, so happy birthday Jounouchi! Second, I believe by extension I'm just in time for JouKai week. Third, I'm a bit too late to celebrate the exact date, but it's been just a little over _three years_ since I published [my first JouKai fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3152057) on AO3! I won't get too sappy here, but I just want to thank all of you so much for the past three years. They have truly reinvigorated my passion for writing, and I am genuinely forever grateful for all of the love, kindness, and support I've found here, as well as the friends I've made. (On that note: it's usually my policy to reply to all new comments before I post a new work, but since I have so many in my inbox right now, I actually had to forego that this time. If you've left me a comment recently, rest assured I have read it and appreciated _the hell_ out of it, and I will respond to it soon!)
> 
> Anyway, with all of that said, I'll leave some explanations on meanings for the end notes. I honestly just started writing this fic with one particular scene in mind, but it got wildly out of hand from there. Story of my life. Kaiba is a bit more tame and generally softer here than I would normally write him, but considering this fic is set _well_ into established relationship territory, I felt it was more suitable. It's what Jounouchi deserves. I hope we can all at least agree that when it's detached from reality smoking is fun to think and/or read about. Enjoy!

Winter hasn’t fully settled upon Domino City just yet, but the air is still brisk enough to make Jounouchi huff out a little breath of surprise and pull his blazer tighter on his way out onto the balcony. He meanders through unused tables and chairs until he reaches the elegant steel railing, leaning over it with both hands braced against the edge and smiling breathlessly into the night. Beneath him, cars and streets and buildings form a kaleidoscope of light, stretching out as far as he can see and painting itself like watercolor into the inky backdrop of the sky. It’s the very definition of a breathtaking view. He doesn’t know how Kaiba managed to get this place, but he suspects if he asked he’d be met with some variant of the phrase “money talks”.

Turning, he braces his back against the railing and lounges lazily, loosening his tie and pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the inner pocket of his blazer. He fumbles to light one before returning the pack to its proper place, all the while eyeing the doors he came out of, the warmth of the lights and the bustle of activity inside shrouded by frosted glass. He takes a drag of his cigarette and feels himself relax considerably as he exhales, eyes slipping closed for a blissful moment and leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He doesn’t mind Kaiba’s business events so much anymore. This is his fourth, so he’s become rather accustomed to them now, but they still tend to make him feel distinctly out of place. Stiff, awkward, trapped. That feeling is more distinct now that Kaiba no longer places a professional amount of distance between them; as much as he appreciates the progress on a personal level, it approaches unbearable to be the one on Kaiba’s arm. All eyes are on him, and while he’s aware of how irrational it is, he can’t help but feel that those eyes can see right through him. He speaks with more vulgarity than they do, laughs louder, leaves his body language open and haphazard. Everything about him is more bright-eyed back alley rogue than straight-laced educated saint. He lets his cigarette rest between his fingers and runs his tongue along his upper lip as he debates the magnitude of being in a room with hundreds of people who make more money in a day than his family could have dreamed of in a lifetime. It’s glamorous, but in a strange way it twists his heart into knots.

He’ll never truly belong in a place like this, even if he’s with Kaiba.

Shaking that scathing thought from the back of his mind, Jounouchi takes another drag of his cigarette, and this time he tosses his head back to watch the way the smoke winds out of his lips and caresses the stars like a lover. Sure, it’s a bad habit, but damn if it isn’t enjoyable.

When the doors swing open, he doesn’t even have to look to know who’s joining him.

“What are you doing out here?”

_Most_ bad habits are enjoyable. 

“What does it look like I’m doin’?” Jounouchi teases, finally tilting his head down and watching as Kaiba meticulously traces his same path across the balcony. His eyes never leave Jounouchi as he walks, and Jounouchi’s skin prickles with the unbidden craving that particular sort of attention always beckons from him. He cocks an eyebrow as Kaiba stops in front of him. “What’re _you_ doin’ out here? Lookin’ for me?”

Kaiba makes a testy _hmph_ sound in the back of his throat, but nothing in the way he moves or the way he looks suggests tension. It’s foreign, seeing Kaiba so relaxed, especially in a setting that would typically turn his spine to steel ramrod stress. Normally, by this point in the night, he’d be sharp teeth and searing tongue. Instead, he’s carrying himself with the effortless confidence Jounouchi first fell in love with, all long breathing movements and coy smirks. Jounouchi doesn’t allow himself to think the change may be because of him, though he has his suspicions.

Despite his ease, Kaiba still averts his eyes at the question, stepping around Jounouchi to place a hand on the railing and gaze out at the city. If he’s going to address it, he certainly isn’t going to do it head on. _That_ much is always true of Kaiba regardless, as sure as the way the city lights brighten his eyes and the breeze stirs his hair.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He returns, and there’s a note in his voice that’s almost… _Playful_? 

Jounouchi squints at him, ignoring the way his chest constricts -- _stop that, you aren’t a teenager anymore_ \-- and flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette. “Is that a yes?”

Kaiba glances over at him with an eyebrow raised. “Don’t be obtuse,” he remarks smoothly, no real tangible bite to the comment, and he reaches over to take the cigarette from Jounouchi’s fingers. _Yes_.

Jounouchi grins, shoving his hands into the pockets of his blazer as he watches Kaiba take a leisurely pull off of the cigarette. Kaiba despises his smoking and wastes no breath ensuring that Jounouchi knows how disgusting he finds it, but he’s made a habit of borrowing it when it suits him. Any rule in the world can always be bent for him, after all. Up until now, though, _when it suits him_ has always been confined to _when he’s too stressed to control himself and needs something to do with his hands_ , so Jounouchi has never had the privilege to appreciate the sight of him actually taking care with the act. His finely angled bone structure picturesque in profile, the way the reflection of muted flame sparks in the depths of his eyes, the vision of smoke tumbling slowly from soft lips as if he exhales vows of passion in its stead. It’s too pretty, too perfect, for something so filthy.

Jounouchi _has_ to look away when he feels a flush creeping up the nape of his neck, reflexively fluffing up the back of his hair with one hand and clearing his throat. He is, perhaps, a _little_ ashamed of the fact that seeing Kaiba smoke one of his cigarettes has been a daydream stuck in his head since high school, and actually watching it happen is a bit too much for him to handle. They’ve been whatever they are too long for him to be behaving this way, but it’s not _his_ fault that Kaiba is…

“Why do you insist upon smoking such cheap cigarettes?”

__

… _Such a pain in the ass,_ his mind helpfully supplies on his behalf. Kaiba is offering the cigarette back to him, and he takes it with an offended huff. “Why don’t you buy your own if you don’t like ‘em,” he retorts, staring resolutely at the doors opposite them with a bit of a sulk in his slumped shoulders. After a moment he realizes Kaiba is still watching him and he looks over to catch critical eyes, wrinkling his nose. “What? Haven’t met your _be a dick to your boyfriend_ quota for the night yet?”

__

He means the question as a joking jab, always looking for an excuse to goad Kaiba into bickering with him, but Kaiba’s expression doesn’t change at all. It’s more or less impassive, but Jounouchi is always keen on all the slightest hints of his body language, and he knows Kaiba is analyzing him. Looking for something. It makes his hair stand on end.

__

“Is something bothering you?” Kaiba asks bluntly.

__

Jounouchi blinks, taken aback, the words spilling from him on reflex. “Uh, no? No, I’m fine.”

__

“Katsuya,” Kaiba says firmly, tilting his head to the side and furrowing his brow. “Do not lie to me.”

__

Swallowing hard, Jounouchi is the one to break their eye contact this time, watching the doors as he continues smoking. He just can’t handle the _honesty_ in the way Kaiba is looking at him, speaking to him, treating him. It isn’t as though they don’t have moments like this -- raw, exposed, vulnerable -- but Jounouchi usually isn’t the one on the receiving end of such dedicated attention, and coming from Kaiba it’s so intense it borders on uncomfortable. He’s not the type for these talks, always preferring to handle things on his own, barreling headlong through any obstacle with reckless abandon, and perhaps it’s stubborn of him but it’s always worked out in the long run. For the most part, anyway.

__

This is Kaiba, though. He clearly isn’t going to take no for an answer.

__

“It’s not a big deal,” Jounouchi prefaces, handing the cigarette back over to Kaiba and looking up at the sky. “I like comin’ to things like this with you. Makes me feel like you respect me, especially since you started introducin’ me as your partner.” A faint smile passes over his face at both the thought and the little _hm_ sound of _you're pushing it_ acknowledgement he gets from Kaiba. “I just can’t help feelin’ like everyone at these fancy business things is judgin’ me, like I stick out real bad, and it’s not like I really give a fuck, but…” Jounouchi searches for the _but_ here, biting his lower lip as he thinks, mapping out constellations overhead. “I guess I just feel outta my element. We weren’t born from the same stars, y’know? I'm not used to this, don’t think I ever will be.”

__

Silence stretches on between them once Jounouchi is done talking. It’s not tense, but it carries a weight to it that has Jounouchi chewing on his tongue and fidgeting, wanting to crawl out of his skin. He can feel Kaiba’s eyes still upon him, hear him taking periodic drags off of the cigarette they’re somehow now sharing, and he loses count of them in the maddening quiet, considers laughing the whole thing off and heading back in to avoid the eventual response, when --

__

“ _Admiration for a quality or an art can be so strong that it deters us from striving to possess it_ ,” Kaiba quotes with a perfected rhythm. He taps the fingers of his free hand against the railing, a tell that he’s overthinking his explanation, and Jounouchi finally looks over at him again. His expression is perhaps a touch more gentle, yet bolder as well -- knowing. “If anyone here is casting judgment upon you, it is only a projection of their own insecurity; their longing to be someone more like you.”

__

Jounouchi narrows his eyes, trying to trace Kaiba’s thought process in his head and finding himself entirely lost. “How do you know that?”

__

Kaiba raises an eyebrow, shifting towards Jounouchi and relaxing into the statement with an amused _you really don't get it_ sort of smirk. “From experience.”

__

Opening his mouth, Jounouchi finds he has nothing to say to that. It’s almost something like a confession, such an abrupt and matter-of-fact display of emotion and motive it makes his head swim and heat flush over his skin. The implications of the statement light him up in neon, make him involuntarily clench his hands into fists like he’s trying his best to capture the sentiment, chase it and pin it down to remember the way it feels. While he’s still in the midst of processing the words, likely letting the empty air between them linger for far too long, Kaiba takes a step closer. He skims his fingers up Jounouchi’s cheek with a sort of patient and deliberate intent that turns the touch electric, and, in another entirely unprecedented moment of genuinity, when he leans in, he presses his lips to Jounouchi’s forehead.

__

Something about it feels even more intimate than a proper kiss. There’s a tenderness to it, a particular  _this is wholly and only for you_ brand of devotion, a slow burn of such overwhelming love it almost aches. Kaiba’s mouth is like fire against his skin, and he’s consumed.

__

Jounouchi reaches out for him involuntarily, but Kaiba slides the cigarette between Jounouchi’s parted lips and steps back in one fluid movement, leaving him dizzy and breathless, his fingers full of nothing but air. His mind is a circuit overloaded with input, shorting and sparking. He reaches up to tug the cigarette out of his mouth on instinct, but Kaiba is already halfway to the doors, smoothing out the sleeves of his blazer as he walks, before Jounouchi can fully grasp how to phrase a sentence again. “Hey,” he calls, taking an uncertain step forward. “What the fuck? You don’t just get to drop some shit like that on me and then run off.”

__

Kaiba actually pauses, which is more than Jounouchi expected, but his voice is all at once so conversational and devoid of emotion that it makes the preceding minutes feel like a fever dream. “You can join us whenever you’re ready.”

__

Jounouchi stares hard at his back, his squared shoulders a clear indication that the conversation is over, and sighs. “You’re _such_ an asshole,” he says with utmost feeling, because it’s true.

__

Kaiba glances back at him, his eyes alight with a rare mirth. “I know.”

__

With that, Kaiba disappears back into the building, and Jounouchi just lets him go. It seems a far more worthwhile option than chasing him down and badgering him to actually discuss what he just said, which Jounouchi knows absolutely won’t happen. He'd be better off forgetting it was said in the first place. Nevertheless, he dwells on it all the same, taking shorter puffs off of the cigarette as it dies down to its last smoldering embers, and he can’t help but smile to himself as he runs over it in his mind. He’s been chasing Kaiba, and all the while, Kaiba has been chasing him. In truth, he’d never necessarily thought of himself as someone worth chasing until now; always the underdog, the support, never the champion. Though the rush of the high is ebbing away, he still feels lighter, drunk on the remnant of the feeling. Kaiba’s voice replays, settles deep and warm in his chest, precious praise. _Their longing to be someone more like you._

__

When he finally stomps out the cigarette and throws it away, fixing his tie and his hair in preparation to return to the fray, a single thought occurs to him.

__

Maybe he can belong _anywhere_ as long as he’s with Kaiba.

__

**Author's Note:**

>  **Update:** Elena drew [some truly gorgeous fanart](https://twitter.com/picci8o/status/956753978087256064) for this fic! Please go show it some love! Thank you _so_ much, Elena! ♡
> 
> Some brief notes and/or fun trivia on choices made for this fic:
> 
> \- _Sadalmelik_ (also known as Alpha Aquarii) is of one of the brightest stars in the constellation for Jounouchi's zodiac sign, Aquarius. Birthday fic plus mentions of stars and constellations... Perfect timing.  
>  \- The quote Kaiba recites to Jounouchi is from Friedrich Nietzsche's _Human, All Too Human_ , Part 2: Assorted Opinions and Maxims, aphorism 370, "The Danger in Admiration". It's used a bit out of context here, but I liked the idea of using it anyway. Can you guys tell I _really_ love the fact that Kaiba has canonically read Nietzsche's _Thus Spoke Zarathustra_?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
